My anxiety takes a visceral form on my body through nausea, excessive burping, hyperventilation and vomiting. Over time, my body remembers such reactions of anxiety and becomes the trigger of my mental state. 

​

The video 'Anxious Body' is performative with my voluntary act of triggering my anxiety through gulping a whole bottle of water. My body reactions followed and they felt familiar: I was about to have a panic attack. But this time the camera confronted my emotions and closely examined my throat, where my discomfort usually began. Instead of repressing the feeling, I experienced it directly, leaned into my body and regulated it through deep breaths. The meditative process continued after filming, in viewing and hearing my body's reactions as it allowed me to accept and understand the multitude of what I had been experiencing. My anxiety as muscular motions provided a new perspective than before.

​

Trigger warning: mental illness and anxiety disorders.